dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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