He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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