he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
