so explain again why im purple
no
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
