Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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