Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
