I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
