You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
