it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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