I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
