Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to align my fucking chakras
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
