oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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