My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
