2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
