i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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