Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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