Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
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