His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
