Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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