If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
