I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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