i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize