thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
