In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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