Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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