at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
