the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
