And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
