I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
