So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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