Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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