Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
