Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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