I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
