who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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