dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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