I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How's work?
Spinning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
