I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
