I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
