he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
