Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
