The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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