he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
