Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize