Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
