it wasn't lemon gatorade
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
