My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
