so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There r osticjed everywhere
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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