So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
