eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
