I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
