just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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