I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
