I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize