why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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