I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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