You're completely useless in the revolution.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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