Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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