Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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