not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
