told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
