you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize