Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
