member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
